From the final Morning Jolt of the week:
That Darn Son-to-Job Ratio
Both candidates were surprisingly good at last night’s Al Smith Dinner, an annual Catholic charity event that traditionally hosts both major party candidates for a night of laughter. (Video can be found here.) But the single biggest metaphorical crotch-kick of the night came from great-grandson Al Smith IV, who told President Obama, “We recognize that you have some challenges this year. It’s never good when your opponent has produced more sons than you have jobs.”
Politico’s Roger Simon — in some circles, “the other Roger Simon” — summarizes most of the jokes from the candidates:
Smith also pointed out that all the men on the multi-tiered dais in the Waldorf-Astoria hotel ballroom were dressed in white tie and tails, “Or, as Gov. Romney calls it, business casual.”
Romney rose and noted that New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo was at the dinner and is known as a man with presidential ambitions. “Gov. Cuomo may be getting ahead of himself,” Romney pointed out. “He has put in one term as governor, he has a father who was governor and he thinks that is enough to run for president!”
All his comments were met with laughter, and I will let you insert that response after each of these:
“Usually when I get invited to gatherings like this, it’s to be the designated driver.”
“My tip for debate prep is, first, refrain from alcohol for 65 years.”
“It’s good to have someone you can depend on at the end of the day. I have my wife, Ann. President Obama has Bill Clinton.”
Romney also said the media would probably be unfair to him: “The headlines will be: ‘Obama embraced by Catholics, Romney dines with rich people.’ ”
He then ended on a serious and gracious note, by saying of Obama, “We don’t carry the burden of disliking each other. He has many fine gifts and a wonderful family that would make any man proud. There’s more to life than politics.”
Obama then approached the lectern to speak and got a standing ovation. “Everyone please take your seats,” he said, “otherwise Clint Eastwood will yell at them.”
Speaking a little longer than Romney, Obama followed with:
“I had a lot more energy in the second debate. I was well rested after the nice long nap I had during the first debate.”
“Four years ago, I gave Chris Matthews a thrill up his leg. At the first debate, I gave him a stroke.”
“Earlier, I went shopping at stores in Midtown. I understand Gov. Romney went shopping FOR stores in midtown.”
“Unemployment is at the lowest since I took office. I don’t have a joke here. I just wanted to remind people.”
Obama also added a serious note, pointing out that “family man and loving father are two titles that matter more than any political ones.”
He left out some of Romney’s best: “Speaking of Sesame Street, tonight’s dinner was brought to you by the letter ‘O’ and the number 16 trillion.”
“But the press and I have different jobs. My job is to tell the American people my plans for the country, the press’ job is to make sure no one hears about it.”