OK, I have finally read through all the entries in my midweek competition, which was: To give the name and a brief synopsis of a Broadway musical, the name bearing an uncanny resemblance to that of some actual Broadway musical.
Big mailbag on this one, with most competitors submitting more than one entry. It’s awful to have to cull such a great mass of inspiration, you have to be cruel to be kind.
Some strong themes emerged. NRO readers are really, really interested in Islam, apparently — so I guess this Multi-Cultural Society really works after all! Certain musicals showed up in many entries each, with “Rent” a particular favorite:
“Spent” – How a Republican president’s determination for “compassion” makes him among the largest spenders in history. (Jim Pemberton)
“Rant” – Howard Dean’s one-man show. (Scott Kilgore)
– A year in the life of a group of MoveOn.org activists. (Sean Neff)
(And several others I can’t possibly reproduce on a family website)
What seem to me like brilliant puns occurred to several readers:
“Brig o’ Doom” – Two travel weary hunters happen upon a country hopelessly trapped 50 years in the past, the victim of a curse brought on by a bearded witch. The only non-anachronism on this island-nation is a prison camp located on the south shore whose detainees are, ironically, better nourished and seemingly more free than the natives, who daily escape in droves with watercraft cobbled together from empty milk cartons and twine. (Joel
Wetrosky)
– Northeastern senators stumble upon a magical Guantanamo Prison which comes alive every 100 years, where one of them falls in love with enchantress Ann Coulter and must decide to stay or return to his humdrum life. (Charles Futch)
– A wistful tale of two Yemeni jihadists who are vacationing in Cuba and stumble upon Guantanamo Bay where they are held for the next 100 years. (Scott McLucas)
Recent exchanges on The Corner moved several readers to creativity:
“A Porous Line” – A slapstick comedy about border guards and “undocumented workers” along the Mexico-Texas border. (Antony Outhwaite)
“A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Border” – The struggling Gonzales family decides maybe they can hit the big time in the U.S of A. En route to the border check point, Maria realizes she is pregnant! Now all she must do is give birth stateside and all will be well… if only that nasty border guard Don Jerbyshire will let her and her family pass… Songs include “Everybody Ought To Be a Maid” and “Born Free.” (Michael D. Britton)
…As did recent news events:
“Plame” – Singing and dancing ensue at the agency when agents compete to see who can gain the most notoriety and yet still remain covert. There is not a dry eye in the house when the star agent sings “I want to live forever – light up the sky like a flame!” (Mike Refi)
There were some nice out-of-left-field entries:
“Kimchi in St. Louis” – A delightful story about two immigrant families who own competing Korean deli’s in St. Louis. Hilarity ensues when both families enter the newly created “Kimchi” contest at the Missouri State Fair. (Heather Cromar)
“Hello, Dali” – A surrealist connives to make unlikely romantic matches between artistic snobs and buyers of Thomas Kinkeade prints. “A foot-tapping, clock-melting delight!” (Robert Brooks)
“South Pacifistic” – Ensign Joe Cable decides that Japanese militarism is best treated with understanding. (Andrew Batten)
The winner, though — just because it tickled my fancy more than any of the others — was this one from Doug Donahoo:
“Elita” – First Lady turned senator turned president begins her reign of elitism over America.
Many thanks to all who participated. Doug, your prize is winging its way to
you: A voucher for a personalized tour of NR World HQ under the guidance of Igor, our resident Keeper of the Keys. Enjoy!