Britain’s Poet Laureate, the ineffable E.J. Thribb, has produced some memorial verses.
So.
Farewell then
Osama bin Laden.
Your death
Sends a lesson
To evildoers everywhere.
So here
(I think)
Is the lesson:
Do bad stuff to us
And you can be certain
We shall not rest
Until we’ve lost
Thousands of guys;
Spent
Trillions of dollars;
Patted down
Six-year-olds
And their grannies;
And made
Everyone take off his shoes,
And allowed you,
Mr bin Laden
(Or is it just
Mr Laden?
I’ve never been sure
And now I guess
It doesn’t matter)
Absolutely no more
Than ten years’ living
In a luxury flat —
Protected by
The military of
Our key ally.
And now
I’ll never know
If you moussed your beard
Like Keith’s Mum says.
— E.J. Thribb (17½)