Jonah, that Mickey Kaus post is, indeed, a thing of beauty. I like this John Edwards shtick:
When I’m president, I’m going to say to members of Congress, and members of my administration, including my Cabinet, I’m glad that you have health care coverage and your family has health care coverage. But if you don’t pass universal health care by July of 2009, in six months, I’m going to use my power as president to take your health care away from you.
Ooooooo! Can anyone play?
As your Congressman, I’m going to say to President Edwards, ‘Mister President, I’m glad you have an 11,000 square-foot house with main wing and subsidiary building housing a four-story tower, squash courts, swimming pool and “John’s Lounge”. But if you don’t pass affordable housing reform and sub-prime mortgage relief in six months, we’re going to use eminent domain to take your $6 million home away from you and give it to Dennis Kucinich.’
And:
As your hairdresser, I’m going to say, ‘Mister President, I’m glad you have a $2,000 haircut, but if you don’t pass environmentally-friendly federal shampoo standards, I’m going to leave split ends in your angled nape and not show it you in the mirror.’