EVERYBODY: Hi, JPod.
JPOD: Yep. Elitist. I mean, I’ve hurt a lot of people with my elitism. Like when I screamed at my wife, “What? You forgot the brie?” Or when I told my baby daughter that she was not allowed to watch “Barney” because it was simply too inane.
EVERYBODY: Ha ha ha.
JPOD: Yeah, that’s all my life was about. Just waiting until I could deliver the next elitist judgment. I’d lie, cheat or steal to act like an elitist. The only thing I loved was The New Yorker.
EVERYBODY: Yes, the New Yorker.
JPOD: I’m six months elite-free now. But it’s a struggle. Like I just can’t take this Harriet Miers nomination. I know I shouldn’t mind that she only went to SMU and that her favorite writer is John Grisham, but it gets to me…Then I realize that’s just the elitism talking. I know I can beat this thing. With your help, I will beat this thing. I just have to remember the 12 steps of anti-elitism. 1) Support Harriet Miers. 2) Support Harriet Miers. 3) Support Harriet Miers…
EVERYBODY: Thanks, JPod!