The Corner

The Government’s Star Turn

This, according to Politico, is Obama’s convention strategy:

Advisers to President Barack Obama are scripting a Democratic National Convention featuring several Republicans in a prime-time appeal to independents — and planning a blistering portrayal of Mitt Romney as a heartless aristocrat who “would devastate the American middle class,” Democratic sources tell POLITICO.

According to convention planning documents, the three-night convention in Charlotte, N.C., early next month will seek to “[e]xpose Mitt Romney as someone who doesn’t understand middle class challenges” while also burnishing “the President’s image as someone whose life story is about fighting for middle class Americans and those working to get into the middle class.”

Each night of the convention will include a star turn for what planners call “real people” — for instance, an auto worker whose job was saved, a student who benefited from college loans and an entrepreneur fueled by federal research-and-development funds.

Notice a pattern here? Each “real” person’s “star turn” will involve them standing up and explaining how they rely on the government. Wonderful. Perhaps they’ll even be carrying some of those creepy “Thank you, Obama” signs that you see occasionally at more obsequious liberal events. And presumably someone is going to have to lead the crowd in a stirring rendition of DPRK classic, “We Shall Follow You Forever”? The primetime debut of Sandra Fluke?

But, really, why bother with having three or more people involved? Instead, the president could just get Julia to walk us through a giant version of her cradle-to-grave diorama before helping Joe Biden set fire to last election’s Greco-Roman backdrop — all while a toga-clad President Obama absent-mindedly plays a lyre. Then, with the edifice crumbling and the blind Julia unable to escape the flames, the president could calmly announce that she had been insidiously killed by Mitt Romney for discovering the secrets hidden in his tax returns. At the very least, it would bring Politifact’s “Pants on Fire!” rating a little closer to home.

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