The Corner

Domestic Appliance Story

Ever anxious to keep our lives up to date in all aspects, my wife and I decided to purchase one of the new, “environmental,” bag-free vacuum cleaners. Our actual choice was a Euro-Pro Shark, model UV219CS, “Limited Edition”–like a Currier & Ives print, see?

BIG MISTAKE.

After using the thing 2 or 3 times it looked kinda clogged and dirty, so we decided to clean it. Pulled out the instruction booklet.

“Cleaning the HEPA Dust Cup Filter…” There follows a 4-step dismantling-&-cleaning process, which involves washing the filter and leaving it to dry for 24 hours. We decided to just knock and brush off the dust, and leave the washing for another time. We did this in the kitchen, the temperature outside being in the 20s. Then:

“Cleaning the HEPA filter frame…” Only a 2-step process this time, but involving more dismantling and washing. Again, we forwent the washing, just knocking the dust off. At this point the air in our kitchen is beginning to be suffused with fine dust.

“Cleaning the Filter Ring…” More tugging and knocking. More fine dust in the air. Wife starting to cough. “This is a washable filter, but we recommend replacing it every three (3) months.” Oh. Now

comes:

“Cleaning the Secondary Filter…” This little sucker is hidden away under the main contraption. Another wash-and-leave-for-24-hours job.

Uh-huh. Through yet? No way!

“Changing & Cleaning the Pre-Motor Filter…” Back to 4-step processes, once we had located the dang thing. “After air drying for

24 hours, replace in vacuum.” Visibility in Derb kitchen down to 12 inches. Not through yet, though.

“Changing & Cleaning the Exhaust Filter…” This one had us baffled.

We couldn’t find this little bugger at all. Then we realized it had fallen off when we were fiddling with the pre-motor filter, or possibly the HEPA filter frame. Fished around for it in the thickening murk, knocked off the dust, proceeded to…

“Cleaning the Dust Cup…” “Do not use strong detergents! Ensure that the dust cup is fully dry before putting back on the vacuum cleaner (Fig. 22)…..”

At this point my wife–I think it was she, though it was hard to recognize her all covered in dust–said: “Can’t we just go back to the old style where you throw out the bag?”

No, honey. You can never go back. These things are all the rage now.

Can someone please tell me why?

John Derbyshire — Mr. Derbyshire is a former contributing editor of National Review.
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