There’s a weird disconnect between popular culture and reality. And no, I’m not referring to the fact that every third person you meet in real life isn’t a vampire or werewolf. Rather, there are precious few proudly evil corporations. Even Dr. Evil kept his legitimate corporations separate from his Evil work (a division of labor he no doubt learned at evil medical school). More seriously, it’s an old observation for conservatives to note that Hollywood has convinced itself that big corporations see nothing wrong with poisoning their own customers, killing their competitors and generally crushing anyone who stands in their way. Outside of Hollywood, many liberal writers are less cartoonish in their hatred of Big Business, but they start from many of the same assumptions. Big Corporations have evil intentions. Executives wouldn’t think twice about crossing any moral boundary if there was an extra penny to be made. And, in fairness, there are just enough examples of corporate venality and greed to keep the caricature alive.
And yet no corporation embraces this image. Even – especially! – the companies that are most reviled by the left are eager to spend millions on their public image and reputation. Tobacco and oil companies fund museums, educational programs and polar bear documentaries on PBS. BP is of course one of the premiere examples of this sort of thing. They went and ditched their name British Petroleum as part of their corporatist, liberal-placating, “Beyond Petroleum” campaign (because petroleum is evil, according to everyone Stan Greenberg knows). Needless to say that money went down a rat hole never to be seen again.
So I think BP should embrace their new bad boy image, own their rep. They’re never going to win over their enemies. They’re not even going to win back their friends. Even if they survive this Gulf disaster, they’re destined to be nickel-and-dimed, shaken down and mau-maued by every green group and grasping pol in Christendom.
So why not accept the fact that they’re the bad guy? Go dark. Go edgy. Make all your executives wear dark trench coats. Encourage up-and-comers to cut corners, blackmail the opposition and throw lavish hooker and cocaine parties, just like in the movies. Machiavelli said it’s better to be feared than loved. Why should that only be true for medieval princes and the Church of Scientology? Go street, BP. Ask your investors and customers to root for the bad guy. Admit you’ll go the extra mile to make a buck. Don’t admit you’ll break the law (wink, wink), just let it be known that you think law enforcement is the government’s concern, not yours. You’re sticking with sucking as much cash-juice from the ground as possible. Just like Hyman Roth, as long as you make money for your partners, you’re golden.