The National Review Weather Service has issued a Canadian tears watch for the entire North American continent from now until tomorrow.
The final game of the Stanley Cup Finals is tonight at 8 p.m. ET, and after being down 3–0, the Edmonton Oilers have won three games in a row against the Florida Panthers to force a Game Seven.
No Canadian team has won the Stanley Cup since the Montreal Canadiens in 1993, and Canada wants this one bad. If the Oilers lose, Canadians could shed tears the size of hockey pucks.
There is also risk of angry outbursts followed by prompt apologies. Americans are advised to continue not taking hockey too seriously while also producing successful NHL franchises in cities that never have naturally occurring ice.