Something Else Actually

L ove Actually, which Haley wrote about over the weekend, is a collection of loosely overlapping stories with a common theme. Or at least that’s the idea. Haley writes that “perhaps the movie’s many plotlines are irrational, silly even — just like love.” The movie is an undeniable technical accomplishment, but a lot of what passes for love in its stories is unconvincing.

This is hardly surprising given that the screenplay was written by Richard Curtis, who wrote Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994), the happy ending of which rejects the institution of marriage, and whose philosophy of love is likely radically different from that of many readers of this magazine. But back to Love Actually.

I’ll start with the obvious. Take Colin (Kris Marshall), who finds British girls too “stuck up” and leaves for America. There, he finds and lives out what can only be described as a porn fantasy: highly attractive women who have no expectation of monogamy and are eager to have sex upon meeting him. Lust actually.

Or consider the famous carol-singing scene, supposedly one of unrequited love. Mark (Andrew Lincoln) is secretly obsessed with his best friend’s wife, Juliet (Keira Knightley). When this is revealed, Juliet points out that “you never talk to me.” Which is an excellent point. He hardly knows her, and all that he does know about her is through his friend. Mark is exposed after the video he took of Juliet’s wedding day shows nothing but close-ups of her face. If Mark had been played by an ugly actor, everyone would think him a creep. Infatuation actually.

Sure, there are some sweet romances. The prime minister, David (Hugh Grant) — a cuck, albeit a charming one — falls for his young and voluptuous No. 10 staffer, Natalie (Martine McCutcheon). David does the right thing by having her “redistributed,” that is, removed from his direct supervision, before making a move. But Natalie and the prime minister have only a handful of interactions, most of them fleeting and awkward. Is theirs true love? The recently heartbroken writer Jamie (Colin Firth), meanwhile, falls for his Portuguese housekeeper, Aurelia (Lúcia Moniz). Their relationship begins with neither being able to speak a word to the other and ends with a marriage proposal made in broken Portuguese and accepted in broken English.

These plotlines may be sweet, but as love stories, they are underdeveloped to the point of absurdity. Given how little the characters involved know about each other — and, in the last example, given the lack of a common language — how is marriage to be sustained?

Then there’s the couple, John (Martin Freeman) and Judy (Joanna Page), who have their meet-cute while filming sex scenes as nudity stand-ins. The origin of their otherwise wholesome relationship might have won points for originality if any explanation was given as to how they ended up in that profession, given their timid personalities and unremarkable backgrounds. But there’s no such context: Hence, they’re implausible, overcompensating, and irritating.

The movie does a better job with non-romantic love. For instance, when Harry (Alan Rickman) cheats on his wife Karen (Emma Thompson) with the office temptress Mia (Heike Makatsch), some will think that the point of the story is that love can be fickle and disappointing. Real love, of course, is neither of these things. What is truly moving is the selfless courage of a mother who so loves her children that, upon learning of her husband’s infidelity, she feigns cheerfulness rather than ruin their performance in the school nativity.

Then there’s the loving sister Sarah (Laura Linney), who is so dedicated to serving her mentally ill brother that she loses the interest of the man she’s in love with, Karl (Rodrigo Santoro). Some will think that the point here is that love can come at the expense of your own happiness, which would be an interesting point if it were applicable. Really, though, Karl’s interest appears to have been half-hearted to begin with. Lame actually.

Another moving sequence involves Daniel (Liam Neeson), who’s striving to be emotionally available for his young stepson Sam (Thomas Brodie-Sangster) after his wife, and Sam’s mom, passes away. Sam, who is eleven, claims to be in love with a girl at school. The real love story, however, is between Daniel and Sam. Their story is redeeming. As is the one about the aging pop star (Bill Nighy) and his “fat middle-aged manager” (Gregor Fisher), if for no other reason than its being very funny.

Despite its shortcomings, Love Actually is a film I end up watching every Christmas. It is efficient, well packaged, and entertaining. Still, let’s appreciate it for what it is — junk, not comfort, food.