Love Is for Eternity

‘I t makes no sense to accumulate, if one day we will die.”

Pope Francis was referring to the inevitability of death, in talking about Saint Joseph, who is known as the patron of a happy death. That death could be happy is somewhat foreign to us. Even deep into the Covid pandemic, our culture seems somewhat oblivious to the fact that, however many booster shots we get, we are going to die of something, now or later. We, of course, at the same time should be good stewards of our lives and care for our neighbor — so we aren’t reckless when we are sick or driving or anything else.

On the topic of accumulation: Storage spaces have become ubiquitous in modern-day America — maybe especially in urban areas where overpriced apartments could easily be mistaken for closets. Save for Christmas decorations, the odds are that we don’t need most of our stuff. What is need, anyway? And yet we cling, as we cling to a false sense of security about our health and wealth and a new normal. It’s that clinging — and the utter fear of suffering and death — that makes physician-assisted suicide possible. “Medical aid in dying” is the new language used by advocates of a culture of death, recently endorsed even by conservative columnist George Will. To make mainstream the choice of when to end one’s live is a poisonous direction to go in, in a country that has already had legal abortion nationwide for half a century. The vulnerable unborn and the sick and elderly are merely to be cast aside when inconvenient? That is what laws allowing abortion and assisted suicide are saying, whatever euphemisms are utilized to pretend that we aren’t talking about killing human beings.

No human among us wants to suffer unexpected pain. None of us wants to watch someone else in agony. And yet just as medical advancements mean longer lifespans, the field of palliative care is a tremendous mercy for patients who are suffering from agonizing disease. To oppose assisted suicide is not to be masochistic. It is to recognize that life is not a human creation — there’s more to the picture than all that we can see. It’s about stewardship and reverence for the gift of life and its surprises.

Those who, like the Little Sisters of the Poor, work especially with the elderly testify to the mercy that is often found around a deathbed. There are reconciliations. There are moments of grace — expressions of love that no one could have ever imagined or scripted. Sister Constance Veit, who has been a Little Sister for the better part of two decades, talks about how when someone is truly loved as he is, there is no begging for death.

Accumulate “charity and the ability to share,” Pope Francis urged, “the ability not to remain indifferent when faced with the needs of others.” He asked: “What is the point of arguing with a brother or with a sister, with a friend, with a relative, or with a brother or sister in faith, if then one day we will die? What is the point in being angry, in getting angry with others?” He added: “Before death, many issues are put into perspective. It is good to die reconciled, without grudges and without regrets! I would like to say one truth: We are all on our way toward that door, all of us.”

How does that change the way we conduct our days? Perhaps you are too wise to be on social media. You may be aware it has been known not to bring out the best in people. What if that last tweet were your last? That text you just sent? Now is the time to forgive and ask for forgiveness.

Rather than shake us into right order, the pandemic seems to have exacerbated some of our worst tendencies. The things we say about people who are not vaccinated! The unvaccinated are not all conspiracy theorists. Some are doctors. The things we say about people we don’t agree with politically! These are our fellow human beings living in the world today, and those of us who believe in God are going to have to answer for our time here and for what we said and did.

And, as Pope Francis points out, there will not be a moving van behind the hearse that carries our body away. Yes, there’s the Supreme Court. Yes, there is an election. Yes, there are bills. But, as many a wise one has pointed out, the measure of our lives is actually how we love. That’s not a slogan or ideology or Valentine’s Day candy. That’s sacrifice. And it involves loving people in their vulnerability. That’s why assisted suicide is so wrong. It’s the opposite of love, however we try to delude ourselves. It opens the door not only to more suicide but to more violent disregard for the human person in the very place where we count on his or her being protected — the doctor’s office, the hospital bed.

Do no harm. Love, already. From the beginning to the end. We’ll all be better for it.

And give things away — it’s a good practice for giving our lives away in love. The generosity might just be contagious.

This column is based on one available through Andrews McMeel Universal’s Newspaper Enterprise Association.