On our vax wars; ‘gridlock’ in Washington; bathroom politics; Tiger and Charlie Woods; the enduring Leroy Anderson; and more
Years ago, I heard people say something like this: We human beings are a quarreling, fighting lot. But a common enemy would bring us together. If there were an invasion from outer space, for example, humanity would unite in a grand effort to repel the invasion.
I don’t believe that. You probably don’t either. You remember the classic moment from The Simpsons when Kent Brockman, the anchorman, is reporting on an invasion of Earth by giant space ants?
“One thing is for certain: There is no stopping them. The ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I’d like to remind them that, as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.”
Out of the mouths, or from the pens, of comedy writers: much wisdom.
I’d like to try something out on you: People can’t hate a virus, or a pandemic. No, they have to personalize it. We need a bogeyman (or several). We select our bogeymen, our villains, and then lash out. This is satisfying. You can’t say a virus is the enemy — too abstract, too unsatisfying. No, it has to be a public official you hate, or a bundle of them. Also, “the media” will do, in a pinch.
Charlie Kirk, the young Republican leader, refers to COVID-19 as “the Fauci-Chinese coronavirus.” He told his latest convention, “Fauci should be in prison.” They responded with chants of “Lock him up! Lock him up!” (To see a clip, go here.)
Dr. Fauci has no doubt made mistakes, and so have other public officials. In the main, however, I think people are doing their best to grapple and cope with this awful plague.
I think back to 2005. Hurricane Katrina had struck New Orleans. I agreed to do a radio spot with a famous leftist journo. She was going on about President Bush, as if he were responsible for the death and destruction. I said, “Katrina [because that was her name, believe it or not], it was a hurricane.”
It’s unsatisfying, though, to blame or hate a hurricane. It has to be a person.
Having said all this: The Chinese Communist Party has a lot to answer for, concerning the coronavirus and other evils.
• Did you see Donald Trump say that he had gotten a booster shot? That was good. He was booed, though. He had been booed before, when recommending vaccination. As far as I can tell, vaccines and such are the only things that get Trump booed by his fans.
• On Fox, Maria Bartiromo asked Ron DeSantis, the governor of Florida, whether he had gotten a booster shot. He answered, “So, uh, I’ve done whatever I did, the normal shot, and that at the end of the day is people’s individual decisions about what they want to do.” (For an article on this, go here.)
It seems to me, many politicians are reluctant to tell their voters whether they’ve been vaccinated (or, now, “boosted”). In a previous column, I noted the reaction of Congressman Chip Roy (R., Texas): “I don’t think it’s anybody’s damn business whether I’m vaccinated or not.”
In my opinion, “Are you vaccinated?” is not the equivalent of “Do you have herpes?” A pandemic is plaguing the land, and the world. When I was a kid, there were immunization campaigns. That’s what we called them: “immunization campaigns.” There were always resisters, of course — that’s natural. But the campaigners were not thought to be bad people.
Every now and then, leaders ought to lead (or set an example). (There is an expression: “to lead by example.”) Often, these guys are more followers than leaders. They suffer from more than the “Burkean dilemma.” They are scared of their voters, frankly, and of losing reelection.
Yet I don’t think they would starve, if they lost an election. You know?
I can think of one politician — a Republican politician — who is forthright about vaccination and its importance: Mitch McConnell. Which makes sense, as he survived childhood polio.
• “Gridlock is good.” That sounds like a funny, or stupid, thing to say. But I thought of it when the Democrats’ enormous spending bill came a cropper in the Senate. I learned this point from George F. Will, long ago: What we call “gridlock” is a natural outcome of a democracy. Gridlock means there is not consensus. You know where there is never gridlock? In a dictatorship. There, the ruling party gets its way. In a democracy — where the people rule — you need to develop a consensus. Otherwise: stalemate.
This is a hard point to get across, I’ve found.
• Speaking of George F. Will, he is never better than when he has a head full of steam, as he did in this column: “The malicious, historically illiterate 1619 Project keeps rolling on.” A column to get the blood flowing.
• Did you catch this headline? “Harvard won’t require SAT or ACT through 2026 as test-optional push grows.” And the subheading: “The fast-spreading movement aims to limit the role of the standardized exams in college admissions.” The article is here.
I think of something Abigail Thernstrom told me, many years ago, when a similar move was afoot — a move to do away with standardized tests: “This is a dagger aimed at the heart of Asians.”
• In this column, I publish many pictures. Have I ever inflicted a bathroom pic on you? Well, I snapped this shot in a concert hall:
What a world. Jiminy Christmas.
• Concerning bathrooms, I have something better for you — something extraordinary and touching. “Julius S. Scott, Influential Historian of the Caribbean, Dies at 66.” That is the heading over this obit. I’ll paste a couple of paragraphs:
In 1961, Scotty, as he was known, was one of two Black students who integrated the first grade at the MacGregor Elementary School in south central Houston. The white students had separate restrooms for boys and girls. Scotty and the Black girl in his class were relegated to a single separate restroom outside the school.
His parents learned about the separate facilities only when they overheard their son saying his prayers: “Thank you, God, for letting me have my own bathroom at school.”
In short order, the bathrooms were integrated. Same with drinking fountains and everything else, I assume.
• “Today’s Russia is not the Soviet Union, for heaven’s sake!” My critics often tell me this. I always say, “I know. But do Putin, his government, and his fans know? Because often they don’t act like it.” In recent days, the Russian ice-hockey team has worn throwback uniforms: uniforms of the USSR.
I will quote Garry Kasparov, who tweeted, “If you believe in symbols as much as dictatorships do,” this “was not just trolling. The USSR was a brutal totalitarian state, [and] reviving it even for nostalgia is disgusting.”
Yes.
• Let’s do a little language. My friend and colleague Alexandra DeSanctis tweeted, “It’s Christmas card season, so time for your annual reminder that the plural form of a last name does not include an apostrophe!” Yes, that’s a good one. One addresses “The Kellys,” not “The Kelly’s.”
But you know where I like an apostrophe? There is controversy about this. I like what the caps of the Oakland baseball team say: “A’s.” Also, Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms? The Three B’s? Some people insist on writing “Three Bs.” To me, that’s BS.
• Some more language? Last weekend, the father-son tournament (loosely speaking) was played in Orlando. Among the participants were Tiger Woods and his son Charlie. One announcer repeatedly referred to them as “the Woods.” Actually, Tiger is one Woods. So is Charlie. Together, they are the Woodses — as in “keeping up with the Joneses.”
• Here in December, I found my Quote of the Year. It was uttered by my friend — and regular sportscast guest — Vivek Dave. Last Saturday, he texted to some of us, “Trying to explain to Kristy [wife] why I need to arrange our schedule today so I can watch a 12-year-old play golf on TV.” That would be Charlie Woods. And many people understand.
• For most of his life, Tiger Woods has been compared to Jack Nicklaus. But coming back from a near-fatal car accident — sheer Ben Hogan.
• “I’m happy it’s still attached.” That’s what Tiger said about his leg. Forget being able to play golf: “I’m happy it’s still attached.” Over the weekend, Tiger hit some shots that were — normal. Tiger-like. Immensely gratifying.
• Well, there’s joy in Mudville — joy in Detroit. The headline of a news article gives you a remarkable stat: “Lions and Pistons win by double digits on same day for the first time since 1973.”
• A little music? Leonard Bernstein once said, “I’d give five years of my life to have written The Stars and Stripes Forever.” Some of us would give a month or two, or more, to have written Sleigh Ride. Leroy Anderson wrote something perfect and enduring.
Speaking of him: Three trumpeters at a New York Philharmonic concert the other afternoon played Bugler’s Holiday. That too is a joy.
• Maybe we’ve had enough for one day? You’ve got some shopping to do, possibly. I noticed this little number in a window last week — nice bow:
Merry Christmas, my friends. God bless you, always.
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