Hillary, Stop — No One Thinks You’re Cool

I’ve never seen a more pathetic, desperate attempt to be “one of the cool kids” than what Hillary Clinton is doing with her presidential campaign. 

Selfies with Kim Kardashian. Responding to interview questions with “Amen, sister!” Joining Snapchat and posting a video featuring a koozie with the words “More Like Chillary Clinton, amirite?” printed on it, as if everyone doesn’t realize that “Rich Career Politician Who Lies So Much She Seems to Think She Can Convince People She Is 27 and not 67 Clinton, amirite?” would be far more accurate. 

It’s been bad. And just when I started to think that it couldn’t possibly get any worse, I saw this posted on her Twitter account: 

Stop. Stop. Stahp! 

Hillary, trying really hard to be cool is the least cool thing ever. Trust me, I learned it the hard way in high school. Every time a popular kid talked to me, I would blog about it in my LiveJournal assuming that other popular kids would read it and want to talk to me too – but they just made fun of me for it. You know, kind of like how everyone is making fun of you for that emoji tweet. 

And deservedly so. It was a shameless attempt to pander to Millennials – but we’re not stupid. We can see through it just like everyone sees through that weird fake accent thing you do whenever you’re talking to people in the South. You were trying to send the message that you are one of the “cool kids” just like us – but failed.

Aside from the fact that the tweet should have used the word “fewer” and not “less,” and that the plural of the word “emoji” is actually just “emoji” and not “emojis,” the entire idea was just plain insulting. 

Believe it or not, Millennials are capable of using actual words. In fact, most of us have been speaking and reading them for quite some time now – including many about Hillary’s shady e-mail practices, a story that has many people wondering if she belongs more in a prison cell than the White House. 

I mean, really, Hillary? Did you think that that dumb tweet would be enough to distract us from the day’s hard-hitting headlines about the FBI’s investigation of your server? Did you really think that student-loan debt – a serious obstacle for so many of us – is something we want to see candidates treat like it’s a cute little joke? 

In trying to brand herself as a cool candidate who understands Millennials, Hillary wound up looking like the opposite: A desperate candidate who thinks Millennials are stupid. 

Just look at how brutal the backlash was on Twitter: 

https://twitter.com/LouisatheLast/status/631547549459988480

https://twitter.com/ohheyitskatrin/status/631881454654496768

The articles about the campaign — including the beautifully titled “Cool Gal Hillary Clinton Wants to Know How You Feel about Student Loans, in Emoji” in Mashable – only make it more obvious: No one thinks Hillary is cool, and how hard she’s trying to get people to think she is is sad, pathetic, and insulting.

Still, it doesn’t seem like she’s stopping this sideshow anytime soon. Just look at the response to the backlash posted on her Twitter account: 

No, that’s not a joke — but it’s starting to look like Hillary “I’m Not Like a Regular Mom, I’m a Cool Mom” Clinton just might be.