It’s day four, and Sex Week is really picking up steam. Or maybe it’s just getting steamier.
The first event wins the award for longest lecture title of the week. It was called (are you ready?), “Let’s Get It In To Get It On: Women-Initiated Prevention Options for Safe, Sensational Sex.” The main speaker was a woman named Maryann Abbott, who bears a title even longer than that of her speech: Abbott is the Project Director for the Female Condom Multi-level Community Intervention at the Institute for Community Research.
Ms. Abbott did share some great information about the latest developments in the evolution of the female condom. The “FC,” as she referred to it, offers women a way take charge of their own health and safety, especially women in Third World countries where there may be high rates of STD infection, and where cultural conditions allow them little control over whether male partners use condoms.
Unfortunately, the commendable dedication of Ms. Abbott and her associates to the cause of the female condom translated into an excruciatingly long tag-team lecture on its manifold benefits. I watched students trickle out one by one. By the end, only four students remained. The energy in the room had reached a low that is probably only achievable through continuous exposure to clinical language about sex.
Things didn’t stay boring for long.
The next talk was by anthropologist Helen Fisher, who, we were told, is the “most referenced scholar in the love research community.” Fisher helped create the dating website Chemistry.com. She lectured on the relationship between hormones and romantic preferences, listing four distinct romantic “types.” President Obama, in case you were wondering, is the “Explorer Type,” according to Fisher’s best guess. Fisher said that Explorer types have high levels of Dopamine and are novelty seeking, risk taking, energetic, highly sexual, and liberal.
That’s right; according to Ms. Fisher, liberalism is a hormonal condition.
The final event of the day was so salacious that I cannot even write the full title here. The first half of the title was “Babeland’s Lip Tricks.” That should give you a pretty good clue as to what students were taught how to do.
The auditorium, one the largest at Yale, was packed wall to wall. Every seat in the balcony was full. Extra students poured in until they covered the floor and both aisles. More stood hovering around the doors. There were even students sitting on the stage itself. If Michael Jackson had come back from the dead to play one final concert, I don’t believe the pitch of student enthusiasm could have been any higher. I estimate there were more than 2,000 in the room, somewhere near half the undergraduate body.