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We’re keen to spare the dolphins, but we’re going after the tuna, hard — catching them, selling them, killing them, devouring them (yummy, too). Who will speak up for the scorned tuna? But then, no tuna ever had its very own TV show.
Maya Angelou is not one of my favorite people, especially when she’s on her high horse (which seems to be most of the time). But I’ll always love her for this: She once said that, until she reached a certain age, she was convinced that Shakespeare had been a black girl, because, otherwise, how could he have understood her so well?
Ain’t liberalization grand? May it continue — apace.
Sipping a coffee beneath a poster of Che Guevara: That is the perfect image from my hometown, Ann Arbor — exactly what I grew up with. You know: Paris, Ann Arbor . . .
I was spooked by a Constantine Menges column in the Washington Times. Here are some excerpts: “An important indicator of the radical dimensions of the future plans of ‘Lula’ is that since 1990, he has convened an annual meeting called the ‘Forum of Sao Paulo’ that has included all the communist and radical political parties and armed communist terrorist organizations of Latin America together with terrorist groups from Europe (IRA, ETA) and the Middle East, as well as participants from Iraq, Libya, Cuba and other state sponsors of terrorism.” “When harassment by Chinese aircraft caused a U.S. surveillance plane to make an emergency landing in April 2001, [Lula] said his party ‘supports the just position of the Chinese government’ against the U.S. “In June 2002, Aloizio Merchant, a leading member of the Worker’s Party who may become Brazil’s foreign minister, said publicly that ‘alliances with China and Russia are important to give force to a possible anti-American coalition.’” Swell. Just swell.
I suppose my first reaction was, “Good grief, man, take the money where you can get it, and use it for good.” My second reaction was: Not so fast, Jay. Where do we draw the line (thinking about drug profits, prostitution profits, etc.)? I thought that the Salvation Army chief had been rather spunky. Anyway, something for you to think about, perhaps, when you’re drifting off to sleep.
First of all, the Arabs barely accept non-Jewish U.S. presidents, for heaven’s sake. President George H. W. Bush wasn’t allowed to preside over a Thanksgiving service in Saudi Arabia, when American troops were there risking their behinds for, among others, Saudis. Second, I happened to be in Egypt in November 2000, after the election, as the Florida mess was playing out. The name on everyone’s lip was: Lieberman. Not Gore or Bush, but Lieberman. He had more name recognition in Cairo and Alexandria, I swear, than he did in parts of the United States. At every turn, people wanted to discuss him, or denounce him. They were all for Bush, of course. But one man, trying to show a little sympathy for Gore, said, “I think Lieberman’s a bad influence on him.” Come on, Joe: Get real.
Wrote Steyn: “The wife of the secretary of state and the mother of the president have no business comforting a stooge of their country’s enemies.”
And so on.
“Dear JN: Count my lovely wife and me among the many who despair at the substitution of ‘Happy Holidays’ for ‘Merry Christmas’ (and don’t get me started on ‘Turkey Day’). This year, m.l.w. decided that she would be a stereotypical Texan and put her money where her mouth was on the issue: Anyone in a business who said ‘Merry Christmas’ instead of ‘Happy Holidays’ was given an immediate $5 tip. The result was gratifying and galvanizing. M.l.w. plans to do this every Christmas from now on. She spent $25 in 2002, and said it was the most fun she had all year, for the money.” “Hey, Jay: Why don’t we try, ‘Merry Christmas and all’? I invented this expression this year, having so tired of H.H. I include the ‘all’ after ‘Merry Christmas’ to catch every possible group, and if they don’t like it, tough.” “Dear Jay: Now that the officially-named ‘Winter Holidays’ are over for our daughter’s elementary school, I have time to write and tell you about an even more absurdly named holiday (because at least Christmas is in the winter). At my baby’s school, Halloween is officially known as ‘Black and Orange Day.’ So of course, in my house, we now sarcastically refer to each holiday by some color combination. “Incidentally, my son, a high-school junior, is contemplating starting a Conservative Student Union at his high school. He asked one teacher if she would be moderator for the group and was told, ‘There are not enough four-letter words to put in front of ‘no’ to tell you how I feel about that.’ The new ‘Gay/Straight Alliance’ at school had no trouble finding a faculty moderator. Did I mention we live in Massachusetts?” “Jay, you’ll like this, from your hometown. I’ll have to pull the actual quotes from the Ann Arbor News, but a mild controversy sprung up at Christmas time. In the beginning of December, an article in the News encouraged the recycling of ‘holiday trees’ — not Christmas trees. About a week later, a resident wrote a letter to the editor explaining that it’s okay for them to write ‘Christmas trees’ since nearly anyone buying a tree needing recycling this time of year was in fact celebrating Christmas, not some unnamed holiday. Others wrote in to counter that letter (‘Drop the us vs. them,’ etc.).” “Jay, here’s a true story from a couple of years ago. It happened here at my work. “The Diversity Council wanted to do something for Christmas. So they solicited from an online internal bulletin board how to say ‘Happy Holidays’ in as many languages as they could collect. Now, we’re a large corporation and so have folks from all tribes and tongues. (By the way, we all worked great together and managed to sell products all over the world even before our HR Director of Multiculturalism and Diversity latched on to the corporate teat. But that’s for another Impromptus.) “So, one of
the responses posted on the online bulletin board was from a Russian guy.
Well, you did not have to be Russian to figure out that it was literally
‘Christ Is Born.’ The Diversity Council responds: Well, we really
wanted to say ‘Happy Holidays.’ The Russian guy replies: There
is no such thing in Russian. “Dear Jay: The best substitute for ‘Christmas’ I’ve ever encountered was Pittsburgh’s eight-year use of ‘Sparkle Season’ — complete with a religiously neutral cartoon mascot named ‘Sparkle’ — when referring to official city holiday events. Sparkle Season met its long-overdue demise this past fall. But you can see an image of Sparkle himself [itself? herself?] right here.” Friends, all I can do is sigh a little. And I also want to tell you, as I do periodically: Please forgive my inability to read, much less respond to, all mail. Reality — the 24-hours-a-day thing — clashes hideously with manners. And happy continuing Sparkle Season to you. |
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was interested to read the story lately about the definition of “dolphin-safe
tuna” — that is, tuna caught without menace to nearby dolphins.
I’ve always been somewhat amused by the idea of “dolphin-safe
tuna.” This is an example of: What do certain of our finest academic
minds call it? Species-ism?
I was slightly depressed to receive an ad from Black Expressions, which
peddles “books by and for African Americans.” This is the sort
of separatism that makes me mourn for my country. Think about that phrase:
“books by and for African Americans.” I wonder whether Invisible
Man is for any white American. I wonder whether Sister Carrie
is “for” African Americans.
